List of Common Oxymorons

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Proceed at your own risk, acknowledging

(a) it's not all here yet and

(b) it's not gonna be pretty.

Thank you.

absent presence

alone together

awful good

beggarly riches

bittersweet

brisk vacancy

cheerful pessimist

civil war

clearly misunderstood

comfortable misery

conspicuous absence

cool passion

crash landing

cruel kindness

darkness visible

deafening silence

deceptively honest

definite maybe

deliberate speed

devout atheist

dull roar

eloquent silence

even odds

exact estimate

extinct life

falsely true (Tennyson 1862)

festive tranquility

found missing

freezer burn

friendly takeover

genuine imitation

good grief

growing smaller

guest host

historical present

humane slaughter

icy hot

idiot savant

ill health

impossible solution

intense apathy

joyful sadness

jumbo shrimp

larger half

lascivious grace (Shakespeare 1609)

lead balloon

liquid marble (Jonson 1601)

living dead

living end

living sacrifices

loosely sealed

loud whisper

loyal opposition

magic realism

melancholy merriment (Byron 1819)

militant pacifist

minor miracle

negative growth

negative income

old news

one-man band

only choice

openly deceptive

open secret

original copy

overbearingly modest

Welcome to a place…Where war is civil,

the odds are even

and even the grief is good.Where you can act naturally,

be alone together

and enjoy your death benefits.

Where the shrimp are jumbo

(and fresh frozen),

the donuts are Krispy Kreme,

the trucks are Dodge Ram

and the software is Microsoft Works.

Everything is so wholesome,

it’s almost perfect!

Welcome to a world of contradictions,

where your only choice in Encyclopedias is:

THE OXYPEDIA.